Let's see here... oh yes... remember the "great" b/f Drew.... gone!... i finally realized what an ass hole he was and got rid of him... i know... i'm awful... but it's true.  So now i have a new man... his name is Nate... and he really is wonderful. I adore him like he is my god, and sometimes i think he is.  He treats me better than Drew ever did, and those of you (my internet people) who told me that Drew was a dick for the way he treated me... my god you were right, i'm sorry i didn't listen too you sooner. =(  But that is the way life is sometimes... and now i have Nate so all things are going wonderfully =).  He makes me so happy and i love him to death... i know i fell in love with him too fast, and that could be bad, but right now i don't care.

Let's see here, other new stuff, yesterday i tried out for "Large Group Speech" (it's like a drama thing at our school), and i have to wait until monday to see whether or not i got a part in anything.  I want to get one... but i have like the worst stage fright in the world... and i mean that!  I am slowly getting better at it though, which is always good =)  I have changed a lot lately too, i'm not the same person i used to be, i have started to depend less on my friends, and almost completely on my b/f (which probably isn't a good thing, but then again it kind of is).  Now i am more independent, more myself than i used to be, you people who knew me through the internet are lucky... you got to know the real me, i didn't feel i had to lie to you people. =)

I have become i very happy person too... the more i let myself out of my shell, the happier i become.  Sometimes i just feel so happy, and my god, i have never been completely happy... now i can't even think of anything else in my life i could want... i have all i ever could want.  This summer i wanted 3 things... 1- to feel loved, 2- a cat, and 3- a car.  and now i have all those things and WOHOO! i am thrilled to be alive for once.

Oh yes... apparently my obsession with dragons is getting a little out of hand... i have driven my mother and my drama teacher insane with my talk of dragons... they both get very annoyed with me when i mention dragons now... i can't help it really, i love dragons, they're all i think about... them and my b/f. =) i don't know, but i guess maybe my dragons are a way for me to escape from reality. I guess that is still one bad habit i do i guess... i'm trying to learn to put my past behind me and move on with my life, and for me, that's really hard.  I have some secrets in my life that will haunt me for the rest of my life, and my sister wants to put me into therapy because of it... so i might be going to a shrink soon =). FUN!  but that's ok... i guess i think maybe i should too, it would probably help me a lot... because i am one fucked up, psycho person.

But well.... i guess that is about all i'm going to write for today. I'm patiently waiting for Nate to get off work so i can go get him and smother him in kisses =)... i am so pathetic! But oh well... i guess i'll say good bye then... and let life move on.  Ta Ta!