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Well, hello there!
I'm sorry i'm bad and evil, i haven't written in a really long time...
i've been so fucking busy it's not even funny! I've been stressed to hell
and god things really seem to like suck right now. Lets see here i'm going
to go back in time and catch all of you people up... this may take a while,
i warn you.
As
you last left me things were still pretty fucked up with Travis... nothing
has changed... Lets see here... ok we continued to get closer and closer,
then i'd try to distance myself and that never worked... We just seem to
be getting closer again, i don't think i really want to get too close.
His date with Kristy sucked and i feel really bad about the whole thing,
He went to her homecoming and got to dance with her once, other than that
she danced with her friend clinton... and then at the end of the night
she gave him the, Your cool but not that cool, talk... so i feel really
bad about the whole situation... i'm not as jealous as i was, i think that's
a good thing.
As
for Nate, i made up my mind to stay with him... He finally told me he was
going to give up his Drugs for good, for me... that's what i had been waiting
a year to here... i guess you could almost call it my anniversary present...
so i'm like more in love with him than ever before. He's such a great
guy, and he's finally trying, really trying... that makes my life a whole
lot better... i really need to know that i wasn't just wasting my time...
of course i have my doubts... Drew Always told me he was going to quit,
"for good this time".... lying bastard. I just hope nate can do it, i will
always have that doubt, because i've been trained to it.
Yesterday
was my birthday... i'm now seventeen... yay... i had one fucked up crazy
party last night.. my god i like had to go in my room and cry for like
two minutes just so i didn't have a nervous break down. I had like
15 different people screaming, all of them wanted to do something, but
none of them wanted to do the same thing. It about killed me... i
was like not able to handle it... but it was still fun, Staci and i went
into my bed room i cried on her shoulder for a little bit, then we sat
in my room and talked for about 10 minutes, so that gave me a well needed
rest from the noise... god it was so loud! Don't get me wrong i had a blast,
but my god, i thought i was going to spaz and start screaming at people...
but i handled it... i did have lots of fun though... it was fun in the
beginning, when it was still calm, and it was fun again after i cried,
and when it was quiet in the end... calm and quite was good.
In
other news... i spent a lot of today crying about my mom like pressuring
me about this whole college deal.... i made up my mind about applying to
Nate's college... basically because that is the only college i have a reason
to go to... because i want to move in with nate next year... and that's
not the only reason... i also want to go because it's a 2 year, Art college...
i know i want to do something with art, and i know i don't want to go to
school for very long.... so that's my plan as of right now. I'm seriously
thinking about it.... i know i'm applying, and i know i would get accepted...
i'm just not 100% positive that's what i want to do...
Lets
see... i think i'm out of interesting things to talk about... so i think
i'll get going... i have poems i need to put on my page still and i want
to do it tonight, so i've gotta get cracking... Later!