Well, okay
then my life is fucked up... in my last letter i explained that everything
was going back to normal between me and travis... well last at work night
he gave me this letter.
Angi, I don't want to scare you off
by this nate or anything. I've been too afraid/embarrassed to tell you
in person (because who knows you might kick me in the balls!). But ever
since that night out at Stolies *see #4*(or
whatever that place is) I've been falling in love with you. Don't hate
me please! It's just that your the best friend i've ever had. My other
friends i just have fun with, but you, i have a hell of a time with and
i can talk to you. I find myself worrying about you when i'm not with you,
and when i am with you i find myself constantly smiling. Well i thought
i'd just get that off my chest.
Trav
dun dun dun.... and angi dies...
Well... this completely fucked up a lot of things. I don't know exactly
how i feel about travis anymore. So i wrote a response to his letter telling
him that i knew i loved him... how i wasn't quite sure, if it was just
friends or something more. And that i didn't know how to deal with this
situation we had gotten ourselves into. Here was his little response to
my letter
Well dear, Wow, you've just
summed up what i've been thinking for the last month. I've been so confused
and i've been going through a really rocky part of my life. I've been really
down on myself. I feel myself changing into an asshole, and i don't like
it. My friends, i don't know who they are. I don't know what to say either.
I guess i'm just trying to tank you for being the bright part of my life
and giving me something to look forward to.
And so ended out little not session...
i dunno what to think about all this... Travis is a great guy, but i still
could never give up nate... i love nate so much, and i know travis isn't
asking me to... yet, see i'm afraid that he will... and that is not something
i'm going to want to do, and i wont do it, unless nate really pisses me
off. Which hopefully he wont. Because i love that boy more than anything...
He is my baby, and i just love him so so much! So after
work i hung out with travis and staci and jon... and that was really fun...
Travis went back to being very affectionate with me, and i with him...
i dunno... it was kinda strange i thought i was getting out of this, then
i'm thrown back into it.. and it's not nessicarily a bad thing. but i just
don't know how to deal with all this. I love Nate so much, and i
have to finish this soon, because he's going to be at my house in like
a half an hour so if he like sees this it wouldn't be good. But i really
do love him, i love him more than anything. I couldn't imagine a life without
him. He is like my god, well not quite, but close. And well i dunno
Travis is a big sweetie, and i love him so much too... just i don't know
how... right now i think it's more of a friendly love, but i dunno that
could change in the future, and i'm not sure if i want it to, or not. *ick*
love kinda bites!... but i guess it's all worth it in the end, well most
of it.
All my fiends are searching
Quiet, desperately
Look into their eyes you'll
see the faithless crying
