Well, hello
there... i've actually been writing in here on a regular basis, it's amazing
i've never really been able to keep up with these things... Okay,
so i'll get on with all the juicy details of my life... Nate came down
yesterday, and i got to spend the day and night with him which was so so
so great.... i love him so so so much... The more i get to see him the
more i realize that i can't loose him.. This little thing i have with Travis
has got to stay the way it is right now, we're friends, maybe a little
more, but it can't go any further! Where it is now is great and i
don't want to mess things up with nate... So me and Travis will just have
to be friends, because after consulting asking my runes what the issue
was with me and nate's relationship... i drew Flow (Laguz)... and this
is what this stone means:
Unseen powers are active here,
powers that nourish, shape, and connect. The attributes of this Rune are
water, fluidity, the ebb and flow of emotions, careers and relationships.
Laguz encourages you to immerse yourself in the experience of living without
having to evaluate of understand. It speaks to the satisfaction of emotional
needs, to awaken the intuitive or lunar side of your nature. For while
the sun strives for differentiation, the moon draws us toward union and
merging. This Rune often signals a time
for cleansing: for revaluing, reorganizing, realigning. A Rune of deep
knowing, it may call you to study spiritual matters in readiness for self-transformation.
Success now lies in contacting your intuitive wisdom and attuning to your
own rhythms. A Rune of self relating rightly to the Self, Laguz signifies
what alchemists call the conjunctio or sacred marriage. In fairy tales,
it's the end where the hero and heroine live happily ever after.
So needless to
say, i took that as a good thing... and i drew the same stone twice...
the chances of that happening are like very very small! and i did it, so
i dunno what that means... i took it as a very good thing, because maybe
things will work out with me and nate, which would really make me happy!
Because i love him so so so much... I'm honestly
thinking about taking my whole dairy page on my page, because well those
of you who keep up on my life and read this often know that there are some
things in here that could get me in trouble with a lot of people, especially
nate... and he keeps saying he can't wait for me to get my page up... *groan*
that means he's going to come here and maybe peek through all my past entries,
and what if he just happens upon one that says something really bad...
and now if he reads this one he will search through every page trying to
find the bad things i'm talking about... and those who keep up... you know
my life dilemmas and they all suck. And you know, i don't care if like
Staci and Kristy know, but it's like what if people from my school came
to this page and found out my secrets, people that don't like me, and people
who want to get me in trouble... but i love this part of my page... i really
do i love my online diary... it makes my page kinda unique, you know (even
though i stole the idea from staci)... i think it's cool and i like it....
ick... life is full of hard choices isn't it? i know some of you
are probably thinking, well if i'm bold enough to put it up on the web,
i should be able to take the consequences... if any ever pop up... i dunno...
things are weird for me right now... i have to go to a therapist tomorrow....
god help me! Wednesday i have to go to minneapolis to talk to my
modelling advisor, and hopefully my new agent, and then i have 2 hours
of a runway class... i think thursday and friday might be pretty normal...
hopefully! Ok... so
i'm done pissing and moaning... really i am.... so i might right tomorrow,
it depends how my therapy session goes... Why the hell do i need a therapist???
i have a dairy on the internet that i can tell all my secrets to!
